All in a Day’s time

This is my first-ever blog or a memoir whatever you may term it as. I will call it both as it is my memoir of today’s experience and it is also a blog as I am have posted it online.
My day started with a lot of thoughts about what I should do next in my life. This thought has been killing me ever since I have resigned from my job 15days ago. I had thought enough about this matter and as I was not enjoying my work, I decided not to procrastinate further and resign from my job. I superficially checked out some options in my company itself before I resigned but I felt that nothing was of the kind I like. Now I feel that I might have as well taken some more time before I told my Manager. I also wanted to experience that state of uncertainty one will experience when a decision without a plan has been made. The future looked beautiful and promising that I can literally do anything I have been wishing for so long. I put my papers with the following options that interest me to work on such as event management, hospitality management, setting up my own business, doing my MBA, tailoring, arts & crafts, cooking, cake baking, dancing/ aerobics and working for a NGO.
As a week or so passed by, the insecurity feeling started bothering me in different forms even without my knowledge such as feeling low on energy, lazy, unable to wake up even after long hours of sleep, increase in grey hair, blaming friends, my husband and everyone. Basically, I did not realise that all these were the impact of being in the insecurity phase of uncertainty. Thanks to my hubby who made me realise this so that am able to actually work on the solution to the problem.
This morning too I only woke up when my hubby was almost ready to leave @ 7.45am disinterested about the day. My husband too pointed out that it’s high time that I actually decide on what I really want to do in my life. This has been probably the most awaited answer for me to know since at least 2-3yrs but I have started working on it rigorously only since past 2months or so.
I was further put down by what my husband said as I was already not all that enthusiastic about my day and this is the exact question that is bothering me day in and day out. Once again today, I started my inquiry and within 30minutes, I had this idea that I should probably go to either Art of Living or Taponagara to meditate so that I might realize something. I had to pick up my bike from office and so headed towards my office. As I rode from my office, I had this thought that instead of Art of Living, I must go to Bannerghatta National Park (BNP) as I only seen as a child and did not remember much except probably the entrance gate.
The road was pretty clear at 1315hrs. I found out that BNP is about 17-18kms from Jayadeva hospital. I was thrilled to know that it was not a very far distance to ride. I continued my inquiry into self as I rode. It was a joy ride for me to bunk office and no one except my Manager, not even my husband knew that I was on leave. It was a very strange and ecstatic feeling to go to BNP in hiding.
I reached BNP at 1350hrs and bought a ticket for ‘Grand Safari’ for 160bucks which includes the Zoo fee in it. I was feeling real good as I entered the zoo for I had never visited/ did sight-seeing alone after my wedding probably. I started off from the left-most cages where different owls were kept, followed by Toddy cats (dark skinned and thin animal about 2m in length). I saw a couple of Emus, which I probably only remembered until I played Name-Place-Animal-Thing game. Next to the Emus were quite in large numbers the Spotted dear and Black bucks. As I moved further from there, I sighted a Zebra which was very good to see but only one.
Moved on to see some Leopards(3 of them sleeping on the rocks), red-eared turtle, Indian Star tortoise, King Cobra(lots of them but not too huge in size)-for the first time I clearly saw the hook-mark on its skin, some other varieties of snakes, Iguana(just one small sized), 2 types of crocodiles, Langoors, Painted Storks, Pelicans and Great Hornbill(Amazing beautiful) – It is one of the largest that they have.
It was already 1500hrs and I decided to go for the safari as it lasts only until 4.30pm and every 15-20mins once. I was lucky to get a window seat at the end and I was the only one who was single in the whole queue. The safari started sharp at 1520hrs and I was sceptical from what I had heard that the safari is not very interesting and not many wild animals could be spotted. It was a thrilling experience as the safari started and it was only the spotted dear and black bucks. The van would not stop if there were any birds including peacock. I spotted a Peacock very close to the road. We then entered a caged gate and beside it read the words “Bear Safari”. We saw a huge number of bears all along the way. Next was the “Lion Safari”. Every time we entered that caged gates reminded me of Jurassic park. Oh, BTW they have in fact made these huge models of the dinosaur family in the beginning of the safari. Luckily (as I was thinking that I won’t be able to see any lions or tigers), we spotted around 5 lions and lionesses all together. It was great to see them. Then there was some hope and excitement. We moved further to “Tiger Safari” but could not spot any of them there. As we moved to the next one, it was the “White tiger Safari”. I realized that I had not liked or loved animals like this any time before this. As we entered we could see normal Tigers sitting, sleeping and in the pond. Then came the real excitement, I was able to see moving Tigers on one side and 2 white tigers on the side of my window. I can still get that video in my head about how huge and elegant they were. Each of its paws was about half a foot minimum. One of the two white tigers kept roaming all along the van and just did not go. It was a hair-raising moment (Romanchaka in Kannada) for me as I was slightly afraid and more than anything very happy and excited to have seen a Tiger that close. We were easily there for about 15-20minutes because the Tigers would not go away from the van and the gate could not be opened with them right behind us. As we moved further we saw many more Tigers and their cubs caged alongside the road. So I felt that my day was worth-while to have had an amazing experience and love for animals. The thrilling safari ended when we reached the “Butterfly Park”. I did not go there but later realized later that I must have gone.
I had carried a book that I wanted to read and so spent about 30mins reading amidst the nature. It was a great feeling! Then it was already quarter to 1700hrs and time for the zoo to close. So I quickly moved again to see if I had missed out something and realized that I hadn’t specifically been to the peacock cage. There was one peacock that stood right in front of me and I just could not stop admiring how pretty and beautiful it was. It had totally taken me into its colourful world. For the first time, I saw the patterns on its colourful body. Only then did I realize actually how beautiful the peacock is! As I kept enjoying its presence in front of me, it started flapping its wings and all of a sudden boom, it opened its feathers. What a beauty it was to watch that! I had the least bit of expectation that it would open its feathers. I felt proud about our National Bird until it started screeching. Its voice is not as melodious as its looks. Guess what?? When all this happened, I was the only one in front of the entire cage. People started to gather after they saw the opened feathers after a while. As all of us kept enjoying the sight of the peacock with full-spread feathers, it suddenly did a dance step to which all of us were amazed and happy. All of us were only exclaiming looking at the peacock dance. I kept wondering as to how long the peacock can open its feathers and stand... it must have been at least 5minutes continuously that the peacock stood that way in front of us. And then I saw the peacock slowly drop its feathers. I must say that this day has been the most wonderful and “the most Ecstatic” day in a long time. I got present to the fact that I am happy in presence of animals. I had never experienced such a feeling ever before for animals.
Meanwhile, I also got some more options to work on... Travel guide for Namma Bengaluru City tourists. I was totally taken by the fact that I will be creating a possibility for so many people to love their own city much better if they know the history of the places in Bengaluru. Who knows this might be “The Thing” that I am looking for.